With Apologies to Dr Seuss

I'm often asked where I get ideas for the things I write about. The simple answer is, everywhere. As evidenced by today's blog, even a trip to the hardware store can become an outlet for macabre creativity. I'd like to apologize to Dr. Seuss for my blatant ripoff of his writing style – although I think he might approve.

Hooks I needed

Hooks I sought

A simple thing, a hook,

I thought

Until I saw it

down the aisle

A wall of hooks

that spanned a mile!

Who would have guessed it

so confusing

All those hooks

All there for choosing!

Hooks that stick on

Hooks that screw on

Hooks that clip on 

Hooks that glue on

Hooks for ceilings

Hooks for walls

Hooks for closets

Hooks for halls 

Hooks for coats

Hooks for hats

Hooks for hooks

Imagine that!

Hooks in silver

Hooks in gold

Hooks for looks

And hooks that hold

Hooks of metal 

Hooks of wood

Hooks of plastic

(cheap, but good)

Big hooks, little hooks

Fat and thin

Hooks that swivel

Hooks that spin

Long hooks, short hooks

Curved and straight

Hooks with crooks

(best used for bait)

My head felt faint

My stomach sick

I couldn't choose 

I couldn't pick!

It wasn't fair

It wasn't right

Those laughing hooks

They mocked my plight!

I left bereft

Downhearted, stranded

Hookless, hopeless,

Empty handed

A painful blow

My quest to fail

Aw, screw the hooks

Who's got a nail?